The Unborn

For the record, I love me some haunted horror movies (please see my bio!) The trailer for this had some great effects. We throw in the DVD, there is no introduction or character development, the movie opens while the story is all ready in progress. Within the first fifteen minutes of this film, the actress sleeps in the buff, takes a shower, has a sex scene and goes into the bathroom in her boycut underwear twice. Let's get those pesky nude/risque scenes out of the way first before we even develop a plot. Speaking of which, this plot had more holes in it than a homeless guy's whitey tighties. It all starts with her eyes starting to go from brown to blue because some kid she is babysitting hits her with a compact mirror he was making his infant sibling look at. The little boy she halucinates about is her dead great uncle who, along with his twin, her grandmother, was part of some testing done on Jews during the Holocaust. He died during it and some undead spirit takes his body so grandma has to kill him. The main girl in the story is haunted by dreams of the boy, dogs, fetuses and her mother. Her mother committed suicide while in an insane asylum. She finds her grandmother at the same asylum (?) who tells her to get some Hebrew book that she needs to get translated and an exorcism by Rabbi Gary Oldman. At first he doesn't believe her until he sees the upside down headed dog. So, he says he will help her but he has to get a Christian preacher to help out. Here's the best part and this is where you can see they TRIED to put a story into it. The preacher asks for ID and to fill out forms for the exorcisim. I swear it. Both Gary Oldman and I chuckled at that one. Now, grandma says that the spirit wants her because it likes twins after having her brother. So.. why is it going after the girl instead of grandma? She's still one of a twin and just as much so as the girl is. The spirit does kill grandma with the upside down head guy crawling up the stairs. Oh, the girl's best friend is killed by the babysitting kid with a knife but only after she hits him with her car while he was riding his big wheel. They go the exorcism (which I think is in the same asylum place which is completely empty now?) for which everyone dies except for Gary and the girl and they are free, right? No, the totally forseeable ending is she is pregnant with twins. What a twist. (Note the sarcasm)
This is what I like to call a jump film. It goes out of it's way to get you to jump. It got me twice (and I don't normally jump at films), one included a wahh! and it got an OMG in a spot too. The haunted parts in the film were GOOD! At the end... DAMMIT! It's a Michael Bay! Curses! No wonder it had no story and good effects! Fie fie fie. That was a bigger twist then the actual ending of the film.

Here's the info if you really want to see it. Just don't expect too much. My advice, fast forward to the haunted spots and then walk away. Oh, also rent this if you want to see Charles Miner (the temporary Regional Manager of Scranton Branch of The Office) get beamed with a pipe!